Chicago

As you read from my entry on the musical about cats, Chicago has a perfect overture. It is one of the best overtures of all time. It makes you want to dance and unless you have no soul, it awakens all your senses (even your sense of SMELL)! Luckily, the overture is not the only good thing about Chicago, because this musical is pretty much perfect.

I was just getting in to musical theatre when the revival of Chicago opened on Broadway (and it's still running today, 20+ years later). I played that CD for hours, not knowing at the time that singing along in my room or car was the closest I would ever get to being in the actual show. I am sadly not a dancer (except in musical improv where I am an incredible dancer) and therefore, this is a show I can never be in. Well, until I am Mama Morton type. And yeah, that'll be FINE, but I'm not looking forward to it.

I would LOVE to play Roxie. I would be so good as Roxie (if I could dance it). I would also be so good at Velma (if I could dance it). If I could dance it, I would be so good as ANY of the "Cellblock Tango" girls.

Sigh. Oh, well. But, look: Chris and I have to move and buy a car soon, so you can catch one of my performances there. I also performed the shit out of "All That Jazz" in my bathroom recently.

I had the revival cast recording growing up, which is great, as is the original cast recording (and I can't BELIEVE the original didn't do better. Stupid audiences of the 70s not knowing what was good). Chita Rivera, who as you know by now, is a GIFT, is the best Velma ever (even though Bebe Neuwirth gives a solid, A+ performance -- Chita is just a better singer). With Roxie, the verdict is more split: Ann Reinking is a better singer, but god almighty, that monologue before the song "Roxie" is delivered with perfection by Gwen Verdon. I like both Jerry Orbach and James Naughton as Billy Flynn. Joel Grey, in my opinion, is the better Amos.

I love so much about Chicago. The music, obviously, is great. The choreography, by the master, Bob Fosse, is great. The book and story are funny and dark (but not TOO dark), and there's no message*, which is GREAT. I tend to like things with a message more, but when you've got a show as good as Chicago, who the F cares?

Chicago
Music by John Kander
Lyrics by Fred Ebb
Book by Fred Ebb and Bob Fosse

To see the brilliance of every part of Chicago in one scene, watch this clip from the revival.

*Ok, there's a little bit of a message (you know, about the media and making a show out of people's lives, lawyers who spin things, etc)

Chess

So many people I talk to hate Chess. I've never seen it, and honestly, if I did, I would probably hate it too, but it was one of the first musicals I bought myself (I don't know why) and it was the FIRST musical where I found out that a mezzo-soprano could be the female lead... or even the ONLY voice part for women. That was a big thing to a girl who was being forced by her first voice teacher to learn classical soprano but was, and wanted to be, a belter.

There are several recording of Chess and you'll get a different experience by listening to any of them because the play has changed so many times. As we know from the musicals that proceeded this, any time you have to revise the book every time a new production is put on, you know it has a weak book. I grew up with the Broadway cast (starring Judy Kuhn, who is so great, as Florence). I have tried to work all the female songs from Chess into my repertoire at some point but no one ever supports this decision. I think "Nobody's Side" is SUCH a great pop song and the "Mountain Duet"/"Terrace Duet" has these killer harmonies... I don't even mind how overly dramatic the music is to this show.

The London recording, which came first, is surprisingly the better recording (something I'll probably never say again). Elaine Paige is INCREDIBLE as Florence, and, for once in my life, I don't even mind the fact that Murray Head's vocals have so many effects on them. (But HOW does that work in the actual theater??) My favorite part of the entire recording is the guitar solo* at the end of "Pity the Child" -- PLEASE let that have happened on stage! Oh my God, this guy plays the craziest solo in theatre history and it's SO GOOD and all I'm imagining is what could be happening on stage while this solo is happening. I hope it wan't just for the recording, and that they did do the solo during the show, and that there was just highly stylized chess playing happening.

There is a 2009 concert version of Chess that I urge you to never listen to. It's the most complete recording as far as I can tell and it is hilariously bad. I don't know what they were doing. It's full of A+ talent, and yet, somehow, it's just awful.

So, look, if you like legitimate rock music, which I obviously do, you might like some parts of Chess.   It was written by the ABBA guys, so, it's relatively legitimate. I like rock AND I like ABBA, so there was basically no way for me to not like Chess. It's not the best, but at least it was an original story, and I do think it is underrated.

Chess
Music by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus
Lyrics by Tim Rice and Björn Ulvaeus
Book by Tim Rice or Richard Nelson

*listen to this crazy guitar solo. I love it so much.

Cats

I made the mistake of listening to the Overture from Cats for the first time immediately after listening to the excellent and incredible Overture from Chicago. Chris and I were both like "WHAT IS THIS!?!?? NO. GOD. HELP. WHY??"

Have you ever heard that music that was created for real cats? Look it up. It's really weird, but supposedly cats like it. This kind of sounds like that "music." Maybe Cats was created for actual cats? It's certainly not created for human ears.

I listened to all of Cats today. I need to write about it now, because I never want to listen to it again as long as I live.*

There are some people who like Cats. For some, I understand. They are dancers. It's a very intriguing show for a dancer/actor (to me, they are the best actors of all time, because I would not be able to take it seriously). There's no book or story in Cats, so it's "good for families." They are going to the theatre to be entertained, not to think (or, apparently, listen to music). MAYBE it ran for so long on Broadway because people didn't understand what the hell was happening and they needed to keep going back to see if they could figure it out.

I do not understand why MOST people like Cats, though (for those that do like it).

This is literally the worst music I have ever heard. The worst. Have I said ANYTHING is the worst music yet? No. Because deep down, I knew the honor would go to Cats. It is the worst music I have ever heard. It is so pretentious. If you've read any of this, you know already that I hate British musical theatre. It's so shitty. But this really takes the cake. The synthesizers, the dissonance, the fact that it was ever created in the first place. THIS is why I hate Webber.

As I said, Cats has no story. It's basically just about a bunch of asshole cats. Sorry! JELLICLE asshole cats. The cats named themselves and one of them named himself Rum Tum Tugger. What the actual fuck is that?

The ballads are so boring and WEIRD. I was never a fan of "Memory" (I think it's creepy as hell), so even that song makes me angry. Literally the ONLY good part to Cats is the chorus to "Jellicle Cats", which is catchy, but the verses are crazy.

At least I'm done with the worst part of this entire project. Everything is uphill from here.

Cats
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics by T.S. Eliot

*Yes, I realize that by saying this, I have basically GUARANTEED that I will play Grizabella in Cats. I will never audition for it specifically. It will be part of a season where they are doing shows that I desperately want to be in and am completely, 100% right for (like Dot in SITPWG or Cathy in L5Y, etc) and I will go to the audition, sing from the show I am perfect for, be amazing, and then only get cast as Grizabella in Cats.

Catch Me if You Can

Ah, movie musicals. There are so many of them. And weirdly, Norbert Leo Butz has been in so many of them.

Catch Me if You Can is so good, and NLB is the perfect person to play Tom Hanks's role, Carl. That doesn't mean it was a good idea to do this, though.

CMiYC reminded me a lot of Big in the fact that it sounded like it was trying way too hard to be traditional musical theatre. Write for the time we're in now or for the time your play is set in (in popular music). Yes, some show tunes were still very popular in the 60s, when this musical takes place, but they are certainly not the musical theme of the 60s.

Anyway, the only songs I even remotely enjoyed were "Seven Wonders" and "Fly, Fly Away" and that was BEFORE I even realized it was Kerry Butler. The most disappointing part was at the very end when Carl asks Frank how he cheated the Bar exam and when Frank says he didn't cheat, he studied, Carl says, joyfully, "You're kidding me! I hate this guy! How does he do it??" WHY'D YA HAVE TO RUIN ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WITH THAT LINE???? (Listen to this horrible song, "Stuck Together (Strange but True)" to really understand what I am talking about.)

I bet there were some really exciting stage pictures and fantastic, beautiful dancing girls, all of which probably mean the show overall is shitty. I bet it was really fun to watch before you remembered how good the movie was and how this just doesn't live up to it.

Catch Me if You Can
Music by Marc Shaiman
Lyrics by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

Carrie: the musical

If you read this, you might be wondering where I went the last month and a half. I've been really busy. I had to go out of town a few times, and I just have a lot of stuff to do.. but I also finally decided to listen to Hamilton and it's SO good that I never want to stop.

I will stop, but it's hard to stop. I won't blog about it until I actually reach it alphabetically, though. Unfortunately, today, I have the sad task of blogging about Carrie.

Uggggggggggggggh.

I, like everyone else, know the story of Carrie, although I've never seen the movie or read the book because I would be too scared. I don't like horror (except ROCKY HORROR!), so there is nothing in it for me. I wanted to like the musical, though (I WANT to like every musical). At one point I had the sheet music to something from this show and I can't even remember what song it was. I think it may have been cut from the revivals.

The original was one of the biggest flops in musical theatre history so OF COURSE, who wouldn't want to revive it??? (They did make improvements to it, it seems.)

My favorite song in the show was "The World According to Chris", who is the antagonist. I really didn't enjoy any of the mom's stuff or Carrie's music.

Really, though, most of the music in this is forgettable. It takes a lot of talent to sing it well, so as usual, props to the performers, but I just didn't enjoy it at all.

Carrie
Music by Michael Gore
Lyrics by Dean Pitchfork
Book by Lawrence Cohen

Carousel

If you've been reading this, or you've basically met me, you probably know that I love Rodgers and Hammerstein so much, and have since I started getting interested in theatre. Honestly, it might have been Carousel's music that made me love them.

I've needed to think about this for a long time to write anything about this show. WE ALL KNOW THE "BIG PROBLEM" THAT CAROUSEL HAS. Especially in this day and age, how can the actor playing Julie say, "It is possible dear, for someone to hit you, hit you hard, and it not hurt at all" and not be presented with the dilemma of this line?? God, even in 1945 I bet it was hard to do. They talk about it throughout the entire show: how horrible it was that Billy hit Julie. Even the antagonistic characters condemn him for it. So, everyone is saying how awful it is, including R&H, including me. 

Now, this was not R&H's battle, as this musical was adapted closely from the play "Liliom," which would have been VERY fresh in theatre-goers minds. I suppose it's the equivalent to adapting 9 to 5 (or any of the hit movies from the 1980s turned musical) today. Everyone already knew the story.  It wouldn't have been as shocking for them that he hit her. That she forgave him for it. They already knew.

But, look, it's there. It's there in today's world. I had thought about sub-titling this post "Carousel: a 2 hour sit down where I try to justify Billy Bigelow's spousal abuse." No one can JUSTIFY it; it's unforgiven... except to Julie. 

And there's the thing. 

I think Julie Jordan is thought of as this pure, innocent girl who gets mixed up with this ne'er-do-well and then he hits her, gets her pregnant, kills himself, and then comes back as a GHOST and slaps her daughter. Julie is not stupid. She's not like that border-line handicapped girl, Lili from Carnival! -- she KNOWS what she is doing. I feel like if we were to re-adapt this play to modern times, Julie would be like... almost goth (When I think of modern day Julie Jordan, she is very close to Aubrey Plaza). She's certainly unhappy. She's so cool with giving up her previous life that she just quits her job (it seems like they say she was fired... but it was her choice not to go back to the mill) to be with Billy. It is established as love at first sight in the very first scene of the play. Julie is not a push over. She does what she wants. She says no to Billy and anyone else (that's his reasoning behind hitting her -- they argued, he got carried away. What kind of woman was pushing back against her husband in the 1870s? Not a shy, innocent one, that's for sure). She isn't afraid of anyone. She stands up to Billy, stands up to his boss, Mrs. Mullin. She talks about how bored she is at her job; how unfulfilled it makes her. JULIE AND BILLY ARE THE SAME.... they're just... in a different time period and women acted different. They are the Kate and Petruchio of musical theatre, Julie just doesn't have the same temperament as Kate.

And since I mentioned Kate and Petruchio, it's well known, if you read The Taming of the Shrew, that the real shrew is Bianca, and she and Lucentio will end up with the bad marriage, not Kate and Petruchio. The same can be said of Carrie and Mr. Snow. On the surface Mr. Snow is a "upstanding man," but you start to see his true colors even before they are married (at the clam bake, god even on the WAY to the clam bake) and certainly when he's so horrible to Louise and encourages his children to be horrible (to the daughter of his wife's BEST FRIEND!) as well. I mean, he also forces her to have 9 children, which she is clearly uncomfortable with. All of this and more, still under the guise that he is a fine, respectable man. At least with Billy, he wears his flaws on the outside, so you know what you're going to get. Julie obviously knew. 

"If I Love You" (one of Oscar Hammerstein's finest inventions: the conditional love ballad) is probably my favorite song in the R&H cannon, and one of the best songs ever written by anyone, ever. However, it's "Soliloquy" that gets me every single time. I knew when I was 14 years old how special that song was. I mean.. what the actual fuck. Apparently Richard Rodgers wrote the music in 2 hours because he was so moved by the words Hammerstein had written. I wish I could be a male baritone for 3 hours, just to work through this song a few times with a vocal coach. You, of course, see glimpses of Billy's soul in smaller moments, but it isn't until he finds out he's going to be a father that he really bears it... to us. The audience. And no one else. Billy can't show emotion to the other characters. He doesn't know how to do it and stay himself. I guess that's the problem with being a dude in the past: you were definitely not encouraged to have feelings. "Soliloquy" is the finest song for men in the theatre, and possibly the finest song, period. 

Look, there is probably so much out there that is written about these characters. There's so much more I COULD say. Carousel is basically Shakespearean, and certainly as close as any non-Sondheim musical theatre writer ever got. I love this musical. Richard Rodgers got so much right musically in this and Hammerstein.... just... jesus. These characters are DEEP. The stakes are REAL. My god, you know from the first scene that your protagonist is a bad guy. Besides Pal Joey, when had that been done??

Oh, also, I can't end this without talking about Louise (Julie and Billy's daughter). I love her so much.  She is my favorite character in this play, because she fucking says what she needs to say. Hell yeah she's sad. OF COURSE SHE IS. She is the perfect mix of those two, and thank god, ghost Billy comes back to tell her to not be held back from the mistakes of others. I believe Louise has a bright future ahead of her. I also am slightly obsessed with Agnes de Mille (as much as a non-dancer can be) because if there is anyone in the world who can move me just through dance, it is her. If you have the time, I encourage you to watch this video of the original Louise, and the original choreography. She kills. I cried a lot while watching this.

Carousel is so much more than Julie forgiving Billy for hitting her. Look deeper. If anything deserves you to look deeper into it, it's a Rodgers and Hammerstein show.

Carousel
Music by Richard Rodgers
Book and Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II

Carnival!

I forgot about Carnival!, probably because Caroline, or Change was SO good and The Capeman was SO bad. It just got lost in my mind!

Carnival! is one of the weirdest shows that I know anything about, and not really in the good way (just like Finian's Rainbow, which we'll get to in a while, and which I hate. At least as of now). The main story is of Lili, who is comically stupid. I don't know if you guys have taken improv classes, but if you have, you, or one of your classmates, at some point in your early studies, will play a character who knows NOTHING, and for no reason. It's very funny in the moment, but you need to justify WHY they are so stupid and you only have a few options: either they are mentally handicapped (and then you've dug yourself a terrible hole to try to get out of) or they have lived an incredibly sheltered life (and then you need to say WHY their life has been so sheltered -- and again, things can get very sticky and offensive very fast).

So, we don't know why Lili is so stupid. She is, as the main character/disturbing weirdo, Paul, says, "a grown up girl with the mind of a child." Also, he says repeatedly, that that is what he WANTS in a woman... so... there you go.

Anyway, Lili is described by most women who play her as "naive" and "innocent" and "a free spirit" and "full of love" -- which is TRUE, but it doesn't answer the question of WHY and HOW she is like this. Her father just died and she had left the village where she lived -- did something happen to her there? HOW DOES THIS PERSON EXIST?? You can't say that she "just does" because that immediately makes this piece mean nothing.

So, regardless, the music to Carnival! isn't terrible. Lili is an extremely vocally challenging role, and she does have most of the good material in the score. The best song, however, is "Her Face", sung by that misanthrope Paul, which, even out of context, is an excellent stand alone song. There are other characters besides these two (including several puppets which are played by Paul -- and Lili has no idea and thinks they are real), but none of them are very good people and most of their songs are forgettable and/or obnoxious.

Carnival!
Music and Lyrics by Bob Merrill
Book by Michael Stewart