Thursday, March 24, 2016


I made the mistake of listening to the Overture from Cats for the first time immediately after listening to the excellent and incredible Overture from Chicago. Chris and I were both like "WHAT IS THIS!?!?? NO. GOD. HELP. WHY??"

Have you ever heard that music that was created for real cats? Look it up. It's really weird, but supposedly cats like it. This kind of sounds like that "music." Maybe Cats was created for actual cats? It's certainly not created for human ears.

I listened to all of Cats today. I need to write about it now, because I never want to listen to it again as long as I live.*

There are some people who like Cats. For some, I understand. They are dancers. It's a very intriguing show for a dancer/actor (to me, they are the best actors of all time, because I would not be able to take it seriously). There's no book or story in Cats, so it's "good for families." They are going to the theatre to be entertained, not to think (or, apparently, listen to music). MAYBE it ran for so long on Broadway because people didn't understand what the hell was happening and they needed to keep going back to see if they could figure it out.

I do not understand why MOST people like Cats, though (for those that do like it).

This is literally the worst music I have ever heard. The worst. Have I said ANYTHING is the worst music yet? No. Because deep down, I knew the honor would go to Cats. It is the worst music I have ever heard. It is so pretentious. If you've read any of this, you know already that I hate British musical theatre. It's so shitty. But this really takes the cake. The synthesizers, the dissonance, the fact that it was ever created in the first place. THIS is why I hate Webber.

As I said, Cats has no story. It's basically just about a bunch of asshole cats. Sorry! JELLICLE asshole cats. The cats named themselves and one of them named himself Rum Tum Tugger. What the actual fuck is that?

The ballads are so boring and WEIRD. I was never a fan of "Memory" (I think it's creepy as hell), so even that song makes me angry. Literally the ONLY good part to Cats is the chorus to "Jellicle Cats", which is catchy, but the verses are crazy.

At least I'm done with the worst part of this entire project. Everything is uphill from here.

Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics by T.S. Eliot

*Yes, I realize that by saying this, I have basically GUARANTEED that I will play Grizabella in Cats. I will never audition for it specifically. It will be part of a season where they are doing shows that I desperately want to be in and am completely, 100% right for (like Dot in SITPWG or Cathy in L5Y, etc) and I will go to the audition, sing from the show I am perfect for, be amazing, and then only get cast as Grizabella in Cats.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Catch Me if You Can

Ah, movie musicals. There are so many of them. And weirdly, Norbert Leo Butz has been in so many of them.

Catch Me if You Can is so good, and NLB is the perfect person to play Tom Hanks's role, Carl. That doesn't mean it was a good idea to do this, though.

CMiYC reminded me a lot of Big in the fact that it sounded like it was trying way too hard to be traditional musical theatre. Write for the time we're in now or for the time your play is set in (in popular music). Yes, some show tunes were still very popular in the 60s, when this musical takes place, but they are certainly not the musical theme of the 60s.

Anyway, the only songs I even remotely enjoyed were "Seven Wonders" and "Fly, Fly Away" and that was BEFORE I even realized it was Kerry Butler. The most disappointing part was at the very end when Carl asks Frank how he cheated the Bar exam and when Frank says he didn't cheat, he studied, Carl says, joyfully, "You're kidding me! I hate this guy! How does he do it??" WHY'D YA HAVE TO RUIN ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WITH THAT LINE???? (Listen to this horrible song, "Stuck Together (Strange but True)" to really understand what I am talking about.)

I bet there were some really exciting stage pictures and fantastic, beautiful dancing girls, all of which probably mean the show overall is shitty. I bet it was really fun to watch before you remembered how good the movie was and how this just doesn't live up to it.

Catch Me if You Can
Music by Marc Shaiman
Lyrics by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

Carrie: the musical

If you read this, you might be wondering where I went the last month and a half. I've been really busy. I had to go out of town a few times, and I just have a lot of stuff to do.. but I also finally decided to listen to Hamilton and it's SO good that I never want to stop.

I will stop, but it's hard to stop. I won't blog about it until I actually reach it alphabetically, though. Unfortunately, today, I have the sad task of blogging about Carrie.


I, like everyone else, know the story of Carrie, although I've never seen the movie or read the book because I would be too scared. I don't like horror (except ROCKY HORROR!), so there is nothing in it for me. I wanted to like the musical, though (I WANT to like every musical). At one point I had the sheet music to something from this show and I can't even remember what song it was. I think it may have been cut from the revivals.

The original was one of the biggest flops in musical theatre history so OF COURSE, who wouldn't want to revive it??? (They did make improvements to it, it seems.)

My favorite song in the show was "The World According to Chris", who is the antagonist. I really didn't enjoy any of the mom's stuff or Carrie's music.

Really, though, most of the music in this is forgettable. It takes a lot of talent to sing it well, so as usual, props to the performers, but I just didn't enjoy it at all.

Music by Michael Gore
Lyrics by Dean Pitchfork
Book by Lawrence Cohen